“How can I help?”
With the holidays fast approaching, our thoughts are turning to hosting celebrations with friends and family. Goodness knows that a few years ago, I yearned for a full table, people squished in all around and noisy conversations. Now that this is a possibility again, I’m delighted by the idea!
As excited as we may be by the thought, the actuality of hosting a big dinner or having houseguests for extended periods can be daunting. But in most cases, I find that it comes from not being willing or able to accept help. We feel as though, as the host, we have to do absolutely everything ourselves. This may be fine for a meal, but if we have guests for a huge holiday gathering or extended periods, how is it sustainable? Short answer – it’s not! You’ll either do everything but not have any time to actually enjoy yourself; or you’ll end up being disappointed that things didn’t get done as you envisioned because you simply couldn’t do it all! Not very joyful for something that you planned with so much hope!
It all starts with asking for, and accepting help. Just remember that people are visiting to spend time with you – not just to eat appetizers, drink eggnog and watch you running to and fro like a sleep deprived elf. Getting some help from your guests allows them to feel more included in the celebrations and affords you more time to spend with them. So, here are some ideas to get you through the hosting season with merriment instead of stress.
Hosting for a day or a large meal.
1 – Ask people to bring a small part of the meal. If your cousin is a notoriously early arriver - maybe they can bring a cheese plate for everyone to nibble on while the rest of your guests arrive. Does Aunty make a killer dessert? Tell her that and ask her to bring it. She’ll be flattered and you can focus on the main meal.
2 – Play to people’s strengths. If someone loves music, ask them to make a playlist for the event. Got a shutterbug in the family? Make them the official photographer for the day. If you have a chatty friend, maybe they could be the bartender. If you have a wine connoisseur, they could bring a couple of their favourite bottles for the dinner.
3 – You really don’t have to be the ONLY one in the kitchen. Most people are completely capable of stirring gravy, or checking on the veggies. You can also get help with putting things on serving dishes and taking them to the table. If you didn’t have the chance to set the table, put out all the bits and pieces and ask someone to do it for you.
4 – Don’t feel like cleanup is only on you – anyone can help you with this. Easy jobs to assign are: scraping the dishes into the compost; loading the dishwasher (it won’t be like you do it, but let it go, Elsa); putting the leftovers into containers; washing and drying the large serving platters. Many hands make light work and the quicker the mess is cleared, the quicker you can sit down and enjoy a holiday cocktail with your guests. Afterall, that’s really why they came!
Hosting for an extended period.
No wonder the Griswold’s went a bit loopy in “Christmas Vacation” – their extended families came to visit and stayed! (If you can’t think of who the ousin Eddie is in your family, it’s probably you!) If you’d prefer a tamer holiday with just as much fun, you’ll have to put some ground rules into place, especially if you’ll have a full house for multiple days.
1 – Ask each family to be responsible for a meal (or two) during their stay. From menu creation, grocery shopping to prep and clean up, it’s all about them. As the host, you’ll still likely have to get a bit involved but the lion’s share of the work will be someone else’s. I’ve done this with friends for group cottage weekends and it has worked out really well. As a guest, it’s nice to be able to feed the group and the host can relax much more than if they had to do it all!
2 – Buffet style is fine! Not every meal has to be a sit-down affair. Simple family meals served buffet style allows people to take as much or as little as they want. Make a pot of slow-cooker chili and let folks eat when and if they want. Soup, simple pasta, DIY sandwiches – all good options. You can also prep these things in the days leading up to your guests’ arrival and save yourself some time while they are visiting. Again, get help to set up and clean up!
3 – Leftovers are the best! You don’t have to cook a new meal each time – use leftovers for lunches and snacks. Or use your food apps for takeout or delivery.
4 – Ask for some help with housework. If people are staying for a while, they can help with changing out towels and sheets and getting them into the laundry. If you’re fancy, you can teach them how to do the KonMari® vertical fold!
5 – If you have some antsy tweens and teens around, ask them to walk the dog or organize games for the littles.
6 – Most people are happy to help with a quick vacuum or kitchen clean.
7 – If it’s feasible, get everyone out of the house for an afternoon and treat yourself to a cleaning service. As I often tell my hubs, “Some things are just cheaper than therapy.”
Now, here’s my plug for decluttering and organizing before you host. Having things accessible and easily found will help others help you. If you can simply point someone to where all your serving dishes are, not only can they get them out for you, but they can easily put them back and know where to get them for the next time. The same goes for towels or extra pillows and blankets. Spending a bit of time before the holidays to get things in order will really help you enjoy the season, love your hosting duties and considerably reduce your stress.
In our initial meetings, my clients often tell me that one of the main reasons they want to declutter and tidy is so that they can share their homes with the ones they love and create these beautiful memories. Make it a reality this year by setting up a decluttering schedule or working with a professional organizer to make it happen.
I hope you can use these tips to make your holidays merry, bright and full of joy.