My clutter is not the same as your clutter
How much is too much? I don’t have the answer to that question, but I can give you a few guidelines to figure out how much is the right amount for you!
When I’m getting to know a new client, I ask them a slew of questions. What does your ideal space look like? Do you have any photos to share of what you want to achieve? What will success on this project look like to you? I’m not being nosy, I’m actually trying to get a handle on what their clutter threshold is.
Clutter is one of those amorphous things that can mean a host of different things to a host of different people. To a minimalist, even a few things on a shelf may seem like clutter; to a maximalist, there’s space for more.
As a KonMari® consultant, I don’t have hard and fast rules about the number of things one should have and the rest is just clutter. This sometimes causes my clients a bit of angst, as I don’t have an answer to the question of, “How many ____ should I actually have?” The answer is usually, “As many as bring you joy.”
But, I do have a few loose guidelines to help them through the process and live a less cluttered life.
Consider your storage.
This is key. Do you have enough space to purposefully store your belongings? Does your storage facilitate your daily life? Consider something like books. I love books….scratch that…I love reading. Once upon a time, that meant that I had loads of books. But now, I’ve switched to a e-reader for most of my reading. I still have a robust collection of actual books, but they fit into the storage that I’ve allotted to them. I’m also much choosier when it comes to buying books because I know I’ll likely have to let one go if I choose to buy it. If I didn’t limit myself, I’d likely have so many books, that it would interfere with my what I wanted my home to look like, and would become clutter instead of something joyful - so I choose. It’s the same with clothes, kitchen gadgets, or anything in your home. Your available storage should limit the amount or number of items you have. Additionally, storage shouldn’t hinder your daily life. In my case, I could technically get more bookshelves and have them all over the house, but in the end, that wouldn’t spark any joy for me. More is not always better.
What’s your clutter threshold?
This varies from person to person – and there’s no right answer! Are you a clean counter-top with only the bare essentials person? Or do you love containers, jars, knick-knacks around your kitchen because they make you smile? Fabulous! Yay to both! But, I will tell you that forcing the bare bones person to live with the knick-knacks will create anxiety and stress for them. Similarly, forcing the person who loves their stuff to live minimally will increase sadness and gloom. You need to find your threshold for stuff. One way I try and figure this out is by asking clients to show me pictures of spaces that they find inspiring. Then I ask them why? You can do this yourself. If you’re looking at decluttering your kitchen, search up some pictures of kitchens that speak to you. Look at these pictures side by side and see if there are similarities. What about these pictures do you like? Try and hone in on the amount of stuff in the picture, not just the aesthetic. Chances are that if you’re looking to declutter, the pictures will have fewer things than you have in your kitchen. Keep the pictures as a motivator as you begin to declutter.
Why do you want to have so much/little stuff?
Time for some introspection. What is it about your life that makes you need these things? I worked with a client whose childhood home was filled to the brim. She told me that she never wanted to bring friends over because she was too embarrassed. She felt as though her house was getting too close to that memory, and she didn’t want that for her children. She was brought up to believe that “things’ and “stuff” meant success. The more you had the better. Now, she was caught in the middle of having things to show the fullness of her life and not wanting to fill her house to the point that she’d go the route of her parents. I worked with another client with a similar childhood and she was 180 degrees the other way. As an adult she chose to live very minimally to the point where her surroundings were stark. We didn’t have much decluttering to do, we went quickly to the organizing! Taking stock of WHY is important to get you to your goal and keep the success coming. Once you understand your intrinsic motivation, you can always go back to that to keep you on your decluttering and organizational journey.
What about other people living in the home?
This can be a huge hurdle – and I speak from experience! I would live a very happy life in a relatively minimalist environment – clear tables, only a few precious things around. My hubs, however, loves his collections (and there are a few!). He is very organized, but he does love things. We’ve had to come to terms with each other’s clutter thresholds and give a bit each way. There are few more things around that I would like and a few less that he would. We’ve learned to compromise because each other’s happiness is more important than the items in our space. And, we have spaces that the other has no say in. His office is his alone; which is great, because I can’t be in there very long! All this to say that unless you live alone, you’ll have to compromise on some things.
Display your precious things, don’t store them.
Last but certainly not least is how you display your mementos and sentimental items. Do you have things in a box in the basement that are special to you? Well, I’m going to counter with, “How special could they be if that’s how you’re storing them?” Not everything ever given to you, made for you or bought for you has to be kept. If you absolutely love it, keep it – but not in a box in the basement. It deserves better than that! I had a client whose father had made her some wooden toys when she was a child. They were beaten up and worn from being well used in her childhood; but there were so many of them! She said that she could not part with them because it would be like she didn’t appreciate her dad’s gifts. I asked her to call him and see what he’d say. He laughed and asked why she still had them. She asked if he’d be upset if she donated them instead of keeping them. He replied that he’d be happy that some other child would play with them instead of them being in a box. We decided that my client would keep a couple of pieces and added them to her bookshelves – she can see them and enjoy them all the time. Keeping the full amount would have just meant clutter, but by only keeping a few, they are a special and curated collection. The rest were donated - they went on their way to spark joy for other children.
One of the things I love most about the KonMari method is that it’s so malleable – there are very few “rules”. My job as your consultant is to help you discover things in your home that spark joy for you and help you create systems to keep these things organized. There is no magical amount to make this work – everyone is different and everyone is right. If you’re interested in learning more about the KonMari method or chatting about your tidying journey, reach out! I’ll make a cup of tea and we can chat!