Top 5 Tips for Tidying and Decluttering with Kids
In the 25 years before I became a Professional Organizer, I worked with kids. Lots and lots and lots of kids. Kids of all ages; kids of various abilities; kids from a host of different backgrounds. People are quick to tell you what children can’t do, but I have come to know what they CAN do!
Without exception, they want to succeed. They want the approval of the people they care about the most. And, they can do amazing things with guidance, direction, humor and someone showing faith in them.
When it comes to getting them to declutter and tidy their spaces, they are often, shockingly, uninterested. The keys are getting buy-in, setting a plan and being patient!
If you are on a mission to have your kids get their spaces in order, (after you have, of course, set a good example by getting YOUR spaces in order), here are my tips to getting it done! Find your happy place, make a cup of tea and remember the journey is just as important as the destination!
1- WHATS THE DEAL?? You need buy-in before you even get started. What’s it going to be? It has to have enough value to keep them motivated when they slump (and they will). It has to be special enough to be worth working for. And, it has to be age appropriate. I suggest to parents that it should NOT be a thing (you are, after all, DEcluttering), but rather an experience. Does your child like baseball - How about an hour with you at a batting cage? Is your child artistic – how about an art lesson with a local painter? Outdoorsy – day of fishing with you. You get the idea. Keep in mind that it should not be a toy or a game, it should be an experience - special time with you making memories. (Pro tip – you never run out of storage space for fabulous memories!) Whatever it is, you and your child need to agree on the reward before you even get started!
2- WHEN IS THE FINISH DATE?? It shouldn’t be too soon, or you’ll both burn out trying. But it shouldn’t be so far away that your child can’t imagine getting there, and you’ll be frustrated by not seeing the space done. Be realistic! If you’re tackling their room, 2-3 weeks is often a good mark. Put that date on the calendar! And if life gets in the way and you don’t think you’ll make it, you and your child can move the date to something more attainable. This is good opportunity to teach your child that plans sometimes change and to help them learn to be collaborative.
3- SET LIMITS ON SPACE! Working with your child, determine how much space will be allocated to each set of items. Clothes are relatively easy – things need to fit in closets and drawers. But how much of the bookshelf is for books, games, collectables? Where are the toys being stored? Setting physical limits gives you and your child parameters for how much of each category they can keep and you can remind them of the limit without being the meanie. “Sorry love, remember that WE decided that all the board games had to fit on the bottom shelf? How are WE going to make that work?” This strategy gives your child permission to change their mind about what they may want to keep, and lets you support decisions without having to make them.
4- MANAGEABLE CHUNKS. Most likely, your child won’t be able to get their room tidy in one day. Many children don’t have the attention span or the stamina to do it one fell swoop! Break up the tasks according to the amount of time you think your child can spend. You want to end each session with a win, so start small, and add on if you can. I suggest the following order, because it works from less emotional decision making to potentially more challenging, just like a KonMari® Tidying Festival… just made to work for kiddos. By no means is this definitive, so feel free to move them around to best suit your child’s motivation.
A – Hanging clothes (hang and organize by activity – school clothes, athletic clothes, going out)
B – Folded clothes (depending on your child, you can teach them the KonMari® vertical fold, but keep like items together – t-shirts in one drawer, underwear and socks in another)
C – Paper – Books, art supplies, certificates
D – Toys, games and collectables
E – Sentimental items
5- YOU DON’T GET A VETO! You’re there to support and guide. If your child doesn’t want the sweater that Aunty Agnes knit them when they were 3, then your job is to decide if it goes in the “Discard” or “Donate” pile. If YOU really love it so much, and it means so much to you, keep it - but it becomes YOUR possession to look after, not your child’s. (And it still leaves their room)
This strategy of working with children is a modified way that I work with adult clients using the KonMari Method®. But you know your child best. Change and adjust these tips so that they can work for you and your child. Remember that it’s not just about getting them to organize their room; you are starting to teach your child valuable life skills. And, it’s likely not going to be a one and done! It won’t be easy, but keep it light, and have fun spending some time together.
And, if you need some help, reach out! I’m here for a call, video-chat or in-person help!
Happy Tidying!