Passing on organization skills to our children
The house is feeling empty again. The background noise of a shlumpy teen with too-heavy footfalls, random laughter, unintelligible music and a general air of commotion has left to go back to university. In the four months she’s been home, I’ve become accustomed to the dull roar and although it often drove me crazy, I already miss it.
This year is different though. She’s not living on campus in residence – she has an apartment with a friend. And that brings a whole host of new challenges for her and worries for me. Over the summer, we talked about setting up schedules for cleaning, meal-planning, grocery shopping, and paying bills. She’s always been good about her academic schedule, but this living alone and looking after herself is a completely new layer of semi-adulthood and I’m finding myself questioning whether I’ve parented her well enough to give her a fighting chance.
I’m also trying to let go – let her make her choices and figure things out on her own. Relinquishing control is not my strong suit though – but I’m trying! Through most of the summer she resisted the idea of me helping her set up some of these schedules. (What the heck would I know? I only do this for a living.) However, as moving-in day loomed ever closer, the reality of life on her own started to become clearer. She was finally game for some help and I jumped all over it! (Maybe I’m not trying that hard!!!)
Most of the ideas below weren’t new to her – she’s participated in them most of her life. But what was new is the reality of having to be the one responsible for them actually happening!
Meal Planning – work out your meals for the week and make your grocery list accordingly. The reality of what things cost is becoming a bit clearer and hopefully, with that comes a more mature attitude to being creative with less expensive food and not letting left-overs mould in the back of the fridge.
Set up a cleaning schedule between you and your roommate. Do a bit each day so you’re not stuck doing it all on the weekend or before your mothers come to visit! I’m fairly worried about this – but maybe, just maybe, after a bit of time wondering why the cleaning fairy isn’t showing up, the cleansers, cloths and vacuum will be unearthed and utilized. Hubs joked that he’s taken a CSI-esque photo of the vacuum cleaner to compare when we visit.
Organize and note due dates for shared bills. This is really important to get young adults on course to establish good credit and to understand the need to pay bills on time.
Have a central place to share information with each other – This just makes co-habitation less stressful. When both/everyone in the household knows what’s coming up, there are fewer surprises and misunderstandings. To help them out, I made them a dry erase message board and calendar so that they can keep track of all the bits and pieces of their lives. Let’s hope it’s put to good use! (It’s the photo at the beginning of this blog).
Learning to be organized is an essential life skill, and more often than not, it something that needs to be practiced to become habit. There’s only so much that our children will learn by watching – we may need to set them up for success by having multiple conversations, providing them with tools and being there when they need more help. I’m hoping that she’s picked up some skills by sheer osmosis and others by listening to the advice I’ve tried to impart. She’s a smart cookie and I’m confident that she’s on her way to a successful first year in her own little nest.
Fly little birdie, fly!