The Creep…

I’ve spoken to two clients in the last few weeks who have said to me versions of, “I have no idea how this happened – my space was never like this.  One day, everything was just so cluttered!”  A-ha!  The Creep strikes again!

“The Creep” is what I call the gradual, almost imperceptible accumulation of items.  It happens so slowly that most people don’t even notice until it’s everywhere.  It can be a Small Creep – under your bathroom cabinet, hallway closet or pantry.  Or, it can be a Big Creep – your living spaces full of things that shouldn’t be where they are, cause you stress and keep you from enjoying your home.  The Creep seems to happen when life gets in the way of your everyday living.  Perhaps there has been a significant life event that throws you for a loop.  Or even if you’ve just had too many things on your plate, The Creep slowly sneaks in under the radar.

The Creep flourishes when there aren’t viable systems in place to keep it under control. When it can grow unchecked,  bigger and bigger, it goes from a few things out of place to, “I have no idea how this happened!” 

The good news is that The Creep can be kept at bay – you can de-Creep! But how? After recognizing that The Creep is there, you can take a few steps to banish it and put checks and balances into place to keep t away.

1 – The Creep is easier to manage where there aren’t too many things around.  Declutter, declutter, and declutter.  When you have fewer items, it’s easier to spot The Creep creeping in, and keep it at bay.  You don’t need to be a minimalist, but let’s face it, when you have fewer things, items out of place and accumulating are much easier to notice so you can make some changes. It’s much easier to notice even a little Creep if you don’t have a plethora of things cluttering your spaces.

2 – A place for everything.  Once you’ve decluttered, organizing your space so that you can find things easily and so that you know where your items are kept is vital to banishing The Creep.  Organization doesn’t mean that your space looks like an Instagram photo.  It means that your life is made easier by not having to search for things you need; it means that you know where things are; it means that you’re less susceptible to The Creep.  If you try and organize before you declutter, your Creep will just be tucked into cardboard boxes or pretty containers, but will still exist. Always declutter first, then organize!

3 – Have a plan for regular tidying.  If you’re managing your space on a regular basis, it’s very hard for The Creep to take hold.  Once you’ve decluttered and organized your spaces, having a set tidying and cleaning schedule helps you keep track of what you have and what you need.  Regular tiding draws your attention to spaces where The Creep may be lurking and gives you a chance to banish it before it takes hold.  Keeping your home clean and tidy also increases your sense of being houseproud and intensifies your resolve to keep The Creep from coming back.

4 – Shop with intention. To really prevent the Recurring Creep, you must promise yourself to be mindful of what you bring into your home.  If you’ve spent time and money to get your home decluttered, organized, tidy and clean, limiting the items you bring into it is the key to Creep prevention.  Don’t purchase items on impulse – think about whether you have something that you can use or re-purpose, whether you really need it and if you take it home, what will it replace?  If you’re an on-line shopper, put things into your cart and close the app for a day or two - you’ll often find that you change your mind about purchasing.  If you do choose to buy something, do it with joy and love what it adds to your space.

If you’re deep in The Creep and need help, reach out to an organizing and decluttering professional.  Our jobs are to be objectively help you get from where you are now, to where you’d like to be and live a more enriched life. 

My clutter is not the same as your clutter

When I’m getting to know a new client, I ask them a slew of questions.  What does your ideal space look like? Do you have any photos to share of what you want to achieve? What will success on this project look like to you?  I’m not being nosy, I’m actually trying to get a handle on what their clutter threshold is.

Clutter is one of those amorphous things that can mean a host of different things to a host of different people.  To a minimalist, even a few things on a shelf may seem like clutter; to a maximalist, there’s space for more. 

As a KonMari® consultant, I don’t have hard and fast rules about the number of things one should have and the rest is just clutter. This sometimes causes my clients a bit of angst, as I don’t have an answer to the question of, “How many ____ should I actually have?” The answer is usually, “As many as bring you joy.”

But, I do have a few loose guidelines to help them through the process and live a less cluttered life.

Consider your storage.

This is key.  Do you have enough space to purposefully store your belongings?  Does your storage facilitate your daily life?  Consider something like books.  I love books….scratch that…I love reading.  Once upon a time, that meant that I had loads of books.  But now, I’ve switched to a e-reader for most of my reading.  I still have a robust collection of actual books, but they fit into the storage that I’ve allotted to them.  I’m also much choosier when it comes to buying books because I know I’ll likely have to let one go if I choose to buy it.  If I didn’t limit myself, I’d likely have so many books, that it would interfere with my what I wanted my home to look like, and would become clutter instead of something joyful - so I choose.  It’s the same with clothes, kitchen gadgets, or anything in your home.  Your available storage should limit the amount or number of items you have.  Additionally, storage shouldn’t hinder your daily life.  In my case, I could technically get more bookshelves and have them all over the house, but in the end, that wouldn’t spark any joy for me.  More is not always better.

What’s your clutter threshold?

This varies from person to person – and there’s no right answer!  Are you a clean counter-top with only the bare essentials person? Or do you love containers, jars, knick-knacks around your kitchen because they make you smile? Fabulous!  Yay to both!  But, I will tell you that forcing the bare bones person to live with the knick-knacks will create anxiety and stress for them.  Similarly, forcing the person who loves their stuff to live minimally will increase sadness and gloom.  You need to find your threshold for stuff.  One way I try and figure this out is by asking clients to show me pictures of spaces that they find inspiring.  Then I ask them why?  You can do this yourself. If you’re looking at decluttering your kitchen, search up some pictures of kitchens that speak to you.  Look at these pictures side by side and see if there are similarities.  What about these pictures do you like?  Try and hone in on the amount of stuff in the picture, not just the aesthetic.  Chances are that if you’re looking to declutter, the pictures will have fewer things than you have in your kitchen.  Keep the pictures as a motivator as you begin to declutter.

Why do you want to have so much/little stuff?

Time for some introspection.  What is it about your life that makes you need these things? I worked with a client whose childhood home was filled to the brim.  She told me that she never wanted to bring friends over because she was too embarrassed.  She felt as though her house was getting too close to that memory, and she didn’t want that for her children.  She was brought up to believe that “things’ and “stuff” meant success.  The more you had the better.  Now, she was caught in the middle of having things to show the fullness of her life and not wanting to fill her house to the point that she’d go the route of her parents.  I worked with another client with a similar childhood and she was 180 degrees the other way.  As an adult she chose to live very minimally to the point where her surroundings were stark.  We didn’t have much decluttering to do, we went quickly to the organizing!  Taking stock of WHY is important to get you to your goal and keep the success coming.  Once you understand your intrinsic motivation, you can always go back to that to keep you on your decluttering and organizational journey.

What about other people living in the home? 

This can be a huge hurdle – and I speak from experience! I would live a very happy life in a relatively minimalist environment – clear tables, only a few precious things around.  My hubs, however, loves his collections (and there are a few!).  He is very organized, but he does love things.  We’ve had to come to terms with each other’s clutter thresholds and give a bit each way.  There are few more things around that I would like and a few less that he would.  We’ve learned to compromise because each other’s happiness is more important than the items in our space.  And, we have spaces that the other has no say in.  His office is his alone; which is great, because I can’t be in there very long! All this to say that unless you live alone, you’ll have to compromise on some things.

Display your precious things, don’t store them.

Last but certainly not least is how you display your mementos and sentimental items.  Do you have things in a box in the basement that are special to you?  Well, I’m going to counter with, “How special could they be if that’s how you’re storing them?”  Not everything ever given to you, made for you or bought for you has to be kept.  If you absolutely love it, keep it – but not in a box in the basement.  It deserves better than that!  I had a client whose father had made her some wooden toys when she was a child. They were beaten up and worn from being well used in her childhood; but there were so many of them!  She said that she could not part with them because it would be like she didn’t appreciate her dad’s gifts. I asked her to call him and see what he’d say.  He laughed and asked why she still had them.  She asked if he’d be upset if she donated them instead of keeping them.  He replied that he’d be happy that some other child would play with them instead of them being in a box.  We decided that my client would keep a couple of pieces and added them to her bookshelves – she can see them and enjoy them all the time.  Keeping the full amount would have just meant clutter, but by only keeping a few, they are a special and curated collection.  The rest were donated - they went on their way to spark joy for other children.

One of the things I love most about the KonMari method is that it’s so malleable – there are very few “rules”.  My job as your consultant is to help you discover things in your home that spark joy for you and help you create systems to keep these things organized. There is no magical amount to make this work – everyone is different and everyone is right.  If you’re interested in learning more about the KonMari method or chatting about your tidying journey, reach out!  I’ll make a cup of tea and we can chat!

Organizing as a de-stresser!

Gah!  I went to the hardware store today and it’s like the Christmas Elves have been working non-stop since Halloween – the trees have sprouted twinkling lights, the stockings are hung on the fireplace displays and there may have been the gentle chimes of Christmas music over the loudspeaker!  I grabbed what I needed and bolted – I refuse to rock around the Christmas Tree just yet!  I’m not ready for this – I have so much still to do before I start thinking about the holidays - this stresses me out and I’m sure I’m not alone! 

When I got home, I did what I always do when I’m feeling stressed out and out of control – I tidy, organize and clean. (Yes, it’s weird, but hey – whatever works, right?). This gives me a sense of control and brings down my blood pressure and makes me feel like I have an handle on things. 

Because resisting the holiday onslaught is futile, I decided that I needed to do something to gently guide me down that road.  I decided that my project was going to be getting out my winter clothes.  Although I don’t do a full seasonal wardrobe swap, there are some items of clothing that just don’t work in off-seasons.  I have an old suitcase that I use to store them, and it lives in the back of my closet.  In the summer, it holds my thick sweaters, thermals, wool socks and the like.  In the winter, my light weight clothes make the move.  Living in Southern Ontario, Fall and Spring temperatures can fluctuate wildly, but I am quite confident that my linen trousers are not going to be needed until next year.  But, if a sunshine holiday comes up, I know where to find all my summer items!

Going through my winter clothes gave me another chance to joy-check them – do they still spark joy; am I looking forward to wearing them?  Most made the cut; the others will be donated before the cold weather really sets in so that someone else can benefit from them.  Switching out my clothes also gives me a chance to fine tune my closet – move around a few things, replace hangers, re-fold items, wipe down the shelves and generally spruce things up!

It only took about an hour and I’m grinning like the Cheshire cat at my closet!  It wasn’t always like this – a few years ago, just the thought of switching out my closet would have had me diving under the covers.  It would have been a full weekend project, if not more, and I would have put it off until the last feasible moment. 

I’ve spent so much time in the past just trying to keep up with my “stuff”. I had tried many times to get things organized, read loads of organizational hacks and thought I was doing a reasonably decent job of it.  A few years ago, when Marie Kondo hit the North American psyche, I read “The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up!”  Wow – it sounded like I’d finally hit on strategy that worked - I started folding like Marie Kondo and didn’t do much else. (I tried the cheat code version of a full Tidying Festival and surprise, surprise, it didn’t work).  I hadn’t really done a thorough KonMari® style tidy – I’d just been moving my clutter from room to room or putting it into boxes in the basement. Although my t-shirts looked great, it really was not life-changing. 

However, when the pandemic hit and I spent more and more time at home, the clutter started to get to me.  I picked up the book once again and really, really read it.  I then began my own Tidying Festival with a “why not?” attitude.  I came to the shocking realization that not only did I have so much around me that really didn’t Spark Joy®, but that my belongings were weighing me down physically and emotionally.  Once I completed my Tidying Festival - 3 months of work in between career, family, and life – I realized that it was, in fact, completely life changing.  I enjoyed my spaces more; I found things more quickly; and I didn’t buy things I already had! 

Being organized is a continual journey – it’s very rarely a one-and-done thing.  Life happens and messes things up, but having an organizational baseline makes it easier to get back.  Having things in order and where I can easily find them makes me less anxious.  By nature, I do sweat the small stuff.  I used to try and “let it go” but all that did was make me stressed about trying too hard not to be stressed.  I’ve just come to a time in my life where I’ve simply embraced it.  I love a simple, decluttered and organized space - having things in order and knowing where they are just helps me be calmer. At this point, it doesn’t take me very long to get it back to where I want it to be because I have a space for everything and everything has its space.

If you need me, I’ll be making my gifting list – but not listening to Christmas music.  That stuff makes me nuts!

Passing on organization skills to our children

The house is feeling empty again.  The background noise of a shlumpy teen with too-heavy footfalls, random laughter, unintelligible music and a general air of commotion has left to go back to university.  In the four months she’s been home, I’ve become accustomed to the dull roar and although it often drove me crazy, I already miss it. 

This year is different though.  She’s not living on campus in residence – she has an apartment with a friend.  And that brings a whole host of new challenges for her and worries for me.  Over the summer, we talked about setting up schedules for cleaning, meal-planning, grocery shopping, and paying bills.  She’s always been good about her academic schedule, but this living alone and looking after herself is a completely new layer of semi-adulthood and I’m finding myself questioning whether I’ve parented her well enough to give her a fighting chance.

I’m also trying to let go – let her make her choices and figure things out on her own.  Relinquishing control is not my strong suit though – but I’m trying! Through most of the summer she resisted the idea of me helping her set up some of these schedules.  (What the heck would I know?  I only do this for a living.) However, as moving-in day loomed ever closer, the reality of life on her own started to become clearer.  She was finally game for some help and I jumped all over it! (Maybe I’m not trying that hard!!!)

Most of the ideas below weren’t new to her – she’s participated in them most of her life.  But what was new is the reality of having to be the one responsible for them actually happening!

Meal Planning – work out your meals for the week and make your grocery list accordingly. The reality of what things cost is becoming a bit clearer and hopefully, with that comes a more mature attitude to being creative with less expensive food and not letting left-overs mould in the back of the fridge.

Set up a cleaning schedule between you and your roommate.  Do a bit each day so you’re not stuck doing it all on the weekend or before your mothers come to visit! I’m fairly worried about this – but maybe, just maybe, after a bit of time wondering why the cleaning fairy isn’t showing up, the cleansers, cloths and vacuum will be unearthed and utilized.  Hubs joked that he’s taken a CSI-esque photo of the vacuum cleaner to compare when we visit. 

Organize and note due dates for shared bills.  This is really important to get young adults on course to establish good credit and to understand the need to pay bills on time. 

Have a central place to share information with each other – This just makes co-habitation less stressful.  When both/everyone in the household knows what’s coming up, there are fewer surprises and misunderstandings.  To help them out, I made them a dry erase message board and calendar so that they can keep track of all the bits and pieces of their lives.  Let’s hope it’s put to good use!  (It’s the photo at the beginning of this blog).

Learning to be organized is an essential life skill, and more often than not, it something that needs to be practiced to become habit.  There’s only so much that our children will learn by watching – we may need to set them up for success by having multiple conversations, providing them with tools and being there when they need more help.  I’m hoping that she’s picked up some skills by sheer osmosis and others by listening to the advice I’ve tried to impart.  She’s a smart cookie and I’m confident that she’s on her way to a successful first year in her own little nest.

Fly little birdie, fly!

Top 5 Tips for Tidying and Decluttering with Kids

In the 25 years before I became a Professional Organizer, I worked with kids.  Lots and lots and lots of kids.  Kids of all ages; kids of various abilities; kids from a host of different backgrounds.  People are quick to tell you what children can’t do, but I have come to know what they CAN do! 

Without exception, they want to succeed. They want the approval of the people they care about the most. And, they can do amazing things with guidance, direction, humor and someone showing faith in them.

When it comes to getting them to declutter and tidy their spaces, they are often, shockingly, uninterested.  The keys are getting buy-in, setting a plan and being patient!

If you are on a mission to have your kids get their spaces in order, (after you have, of course, set a good example by getting YOUR spaces in order), here are my tips to getting it done!  Find your happy place, make a cup of tea and remember the journey is just as important as the destination!

1-      WHATS THE DEAL??  You need buy-in before you even get started.  What’s it going to be?  It has to have enough value to keep them motivated when they slump (and they will).  It has to be special enough to be worth working for. And, it has to be age appropriate. I suggest to parents that it should NOT be a thing (you are, after all, DEcluttering), but rather an experience.  Does your child like baseball - How about an hour with you at a batting cage?  Is your child artistic – how about an art lesson with a local painter?  Outdoorsy – day of fishing with you.  You get the idea.  Keep in mind that it should not be a toy or a game, it should be an experience - special time with you making memories.  (Pro tip – you never run out of storage space for fabulous memories!)  Whatever it is, you and your child need to agree on the reward before you even get started!

2-      WHEN IS THE FINISH DATE?? It shouldn’t be too soon, or you’ll both burn out trying.  But it shouldn’t be so far away that your child can’t imagine getting there, and you’ll be frustrated by not seeing the space done. Be realistic! If you’re tackling their room, 2-3 weeks is often a good mark.  Put that date on the calendar!  And if life gets in the way and you don’t think you’ll make it, you and your child can move the date to something more attainable.  This is good opportunity to teach your child that plans sometimes change and to help them learn to be collaborative.

3-      SET LIMITS ON SPACE!  Working with your child, determine how much space will be allocated to each set of items.  Clothes are relatively easy – things need to fit in closets and drawers.  But how much of the bookshelf is for books, games, collectables?  Where are the toys being stored?  Setting physical limits gives you and your child parameters for how much of each category they can keep and you can remind them of the limit without being the meanie.  “Sorry love, remember that WE decided that all the board games had to fit on the bottom shelf?  How are WE going to make that work?”  This strategy gives your child permission to change their mind about what they may want to keep, and lets you support decisions without having to make them.

4-      MANAGEABLE CHUNKS.  Most likely, your child won’t be able to get their room tidy in one day.  Many children don’t have the attention span or the stamina to do it one fell swoop!  Break up the tasks according to the amount of time you think your child can spend.  You want to end each session with a win, so start small, and add on if you can.  I suggest the following order, because it works from less emotional decision making to potentially more challenging, just like a KonMari® Tidying Festival… just made to work for kiddos.  By no means is this definitive, so feel free to move them around to best suit your child’s motivation.

A – Hanging clothes (hang and organize by activity – school clothes, athletic clothes, going out)

B – Folded clothes (depending on your child, you can teach them the KonMari® vertical fold, but keep like items together – t-shirts in one drawer, underwear and socks in another)

C – Paper – Books, art supplies, certificates

D – Toys, games and collectables

E – Sentimental items

5-      YOU DON’T GET A VETO! You’re there to support and guide.  If your child doesn’t want the sweater that Aunty Agnes knit them when they were 3, then your job is to decide if it goes in the “Discard” or “Donate” pile.  If YOU really love it so much, and it means so much to you, keep it - but it becomes YOUR possession to look after, not your child’s.  (And it still leaves their room)

This strategy of working with children is a modified way that I work with adult clients using the KonMari Method®.    But you know your child best.  Change and adjust these tips so that they can work for you and your child.    Remember that it’s not just about getting them to organize their room; you are starting to teach your child valuable life skills.  And, it’s likely not going to be a one and done!  It won’t be easy, but keep it light, and have fun spending some time together.

And, if you need some help, reach out! I’m here for a call, video-chat or in-person help!

Happy Tidying!